For a gay man this was always going to be an interesting show. The premise is simple: two fit Aussie guys are buck naked and playing with their dicks! Surely a fantasy for most red-blooded gay men out there. In reality this is a one dick, sorry trick, show that is both hilariously intriguing and strangely dull.

The evening is divided into two segments. The first half is given over to the great comedienne Hatty Hayridge, whose abusive comedy gets the audience rolling in the aisles. However, we're all here to see the wonders the boys (the original genital origami creators Simon Morley and David Friend) had on offer.

It takes balls to stand up and entertain a rowdy crowd with penis origami, and these boys had plenty of balls. Trust me, I saw them stretched, pulled and generally manhandled for near on 60 minutes. They also had plenty of ‘meat’ that could bend and enlarge to some extraordinary lengths!

Sometimes with props and once with audience participation (be warned!) the guys worked their way through 40 dick tricks. Personal favourites if that’s the right word, have got to be the Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Olympic Flame, the human, a tongue heart and the Loch Ness Monster. The showstopper was the windsurfer that was blown offstage with the help of a fan!

For those wanting to try this home, though I don’t advise it, there’s even a step-by-step guide on how to make the hamburger! Well I suppose this could be one way to liven up your sex life. Just watch the teeth if you go in for a bite!

There's also no place to hide. The stage antics are filmed and a video camera projects every intimate detail of these incredible natural phenomena onto a large screen ensuring that little can be missed - even from the very back row!

The trouble is that this sort of high japery is hilarious for the first ten minutes and then begins to wear thin. Alcohol helps to sustain the hilarity, but eventually you realise how far you’ve fallen. This just isn’t classy. Okay, so it was never claiming to be high culture, but a series of tricks with minimal verbal gags is not entertaining once you get past the initial shock and extremes to which the performers mould their genitals. It just doesn’t go anywhere.

Have a laugh, gasp in amazement and wince in pain as you’re shown things you’d never have guessed a penis could do. And remember, there are no strings attached!

Read our review of the Puppetry of the Penis book!

The Puppetry Of The Penis
Apollo Theatre
Shaftesbury Avenue
London, W1V 7DH
0870 890 1101

4-23 October 2004, Monday to Thursday 8pm, Friday and Saturday 6.30pm and 8.45pm

If you want to try a few dick tricks for yourselves, then why not buy the Puppetry of The Penis Manual (!) or watch the show on DVD. Enjoy!